Neurodivergent Trailblazers

Started a new job last week. This is my first time starting at an employer with some new information. 

1. ADHD diagnosis (not disclosed to employer)
2. Regular Therapy
3. Medication
4. Friends at work    
    

I wanted to discuss how these areas impact me in the beginning, and look back at this post in a year to see if new insights emerge.  

1) Diagnosis two years ago has been a journey, it felt like relearning who I was with this new identity or label. I lost count of how many times this new phrase came out of my mouth, "My brain sees this differently" in work calls to mask the reason but still explain to the listener why I was adding more context or connecting a thought to a different thought than the discussion prior. Talking about my brain as a personified object outside "me" helped me feel less guilt or shame for my divergence. Starting a role with this knowledge means I come in with some new coping skills and vocabulary. Ultimately, this label is the least change as it doesn't have shape or form beyond how I interpret events around me in the workplace. It's like the CPU of my processing now to put information through an identity lens to filter out the responses more accurately.  

2) On year 2 or 3 depending if you count mindfulness coaching as well. At first it was just a lot of cost for talking as much as I wanted which is cathartic in it's own way. But I have slowed down, and my therapist knows more context now, so the breakthroughs are coming. I don't need to go too personal here and I'm happy to talk about it with anyone who is curious. Let's just bucket these topics, insecurity, boundaries, executive function, masking, and most of all - recognizing when a patterned behavior is not ideal. The number of blindspots I had prior to therapy are too many to enumerate. I felt like a kid relearning how to be an adult, something my therapist reminds me "but how were you parents expected to be good models of healthy behavior when they were likely undiagnosed". So growing up was becoming an adult before my childhood needs were met and taking on the responsibility to care for my parents that could not care for themselves. While this turned into hypersensitivity in the workplace (and all spaces) the consequences began to pile on my psyche in ways I was not recognizing nor healing from. Suffice to so that the journey has led me to the breakthrough that somantic healing is felt in the body before the mind knows what happened. By the time you strive for healing you have already blocked it by naming it. In other words, the child and the man had to sit with some uncomfortable feelings for a while longer and that in turn increases my capacity for stress in the workplace. Emotional intel increased capacity.  

3) I tried Adderall at my prior role and it was very productive. However, it had health consequences in the form of blood pressure, stress, anxiety, and eventually burnout. So I stopped using a stimulant to boost executive functions I never had.  I have begun using Strattera now and like it. Related to the aforementioned emotional capacity, it's evened out my feelings to avoid disproportionate emotional spikes that cause friction with coworkers. On my prior team, an outburts over a process change, or multi-select picklist felt out of place to neurotypicals but made perfect sense in my body that just jumped from zero to 11 on the emotional response scale in a millesecond. On strattera, I feel a sense of time that was never there before that allows me to take in a change in emotion, feel it, and decide on a appropriate response more carefully. This calibration took 2 years to develop and I would still argue remains in infancy. But its so drastically different than the before times that I will likely stay on this medication for a while. Bonus improvement to my blood pressure.  

4) This last one is rare. My new role includes salesforce professionals that I knew from the community prior to starting. I can't emphasize enough how different this first week feels. I have this void in my behavior that I saw repeatedly as I started other roles over the last 15 years. I would come in, perform my best version of myself (masking), unaware of the huge amount of energy that was consuming each day to maintain. I would finish a workday exhausted then start work on a side-hustle because of my learned belief that one day they will find out I'm dysfunctional and fire me. So I always had a backup plan. Well, after 10 years, my backup planning strategy finally paid off, but this time it wasn't revenue from a side-hustle it was the payoff of people. My salesforce community activated and I feel a sense of belonging on my new team that was absent in others. Without "performing" Justin Dux, I'm effortlessly stepping into each call ready to "be Justin Dux".  Without reactive tendency, without judgment, and with the capacity to keep this presence all day long.  

In short, I'm not tired and I don't plan to be. With the 4 mentioned factors, it's my hope that the mask stays off and the real me shows up.  

I can only hope it's enough. I chose to share this today, because I know everyone in this space knows what I just spent 2 years relearning.  

That I was never, not, enough. Just like you.   

It's going to be different this time, but not because I am. 

Sincerely,  

Dux. 

I was Diagnosed with ADHD one year ago. I suspect other divergent traits and my journey has led me only to conclude that no one can truly define normal or typical. Nonetheless, allow me to use terms from our space to hold space for what behavior changes have worked well for me over the last few years. Some of them learned after diagnosis and some before diagnosis nor had I these words to leverage.  

Managing RSD and PDA: My Strategies for Emotional Responses and Workplace Interactions

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD): Managing Emotional Responses to Feedback and Workplace Interactions 

RSD for me feels like a full-body wave—an intense, overwhelming whoosh that demands an immediate response. The biggest mistake I make is trying to suppress it, which only made it worse and turned it into an all-consuming force that hijacked my nervous system. Resulting in an outburst and the need to repair relationships.  

After 3 years of mindfulness coaching ($,$$$) I'm ready to share what worked.  

Instead, I’ve learned to surrender to the whoosh with one rule: Do not speak during this experience. The intensity remains, but allowing the feeling to pass helps me regain control much faster. What felt urgent and important quickly becomes just important. The effects are noticeable within 3 seconds. Two minutes later, it often doesn’t even feel significant anymore. 

For particularly difficult moments—when I hear things like  "let's take it offline" or discuss it further—I set a personal rule to wait one hour. For Half the occurrences, within that hour the sense of urgency fades, allowing me to reflect more objectively. That hour also gives me space to separate emotional reactions from logical considerations, asking myself:

• Do I just want to feel smart?
• Am I stubbornly holding on to being right?
• If I felt completely secure in my role and value, would I still feel the need to revisit this?

By imagining the opposite scenario, I can isolate my insecurities and remove them from my decision-making process. 

For the other half of occurrences, I meet 1-1 with a Dev Lead, Trusted coworker, or my boss and learn an outside perspective. Many times this has resulted in acknowledgement or aggreement because the topic was of shared importance. For example, finding allowed IP addresses from India in production. (contractors).  

Emotional intelligence, for me, isn’t about avoiding emotions—it’s about giving them time to settle before choosing my response. If I react immediately while still caught in the whoosh, I’m like a surfer who tries to stand up too soon and wipes out. No matter how valid my point may be, my communication falters, and I get pulled under. In both surfing and my career, staying above the wave requires patience, balance, and timing. 

Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA): Understanding Avoidance Behaviors and Overcoming Task Paralysis

I don’t like being told to do something, but I love volunteering to help a teammate. The trick here is having intentional conversations throughout the week to learn what my coworkers might be working on or struggling with. If I hear a clue to a situation where I can help, I offer my time.

Think of this as engaging in stand-up meetings but listening with the goal of identifying where I can contribute. If I focus on making a daily impact on people (beyond just Salesforce tasks), I’ll be valuable. This approach minimizes any perception of poor time management and helps me stay involved without the pressure to perform in a rigid way.  

I'm not trying oversell my skill here. Many standups are a concert of distractions and multi-tasking on the mornings slack messages and emails. However, it's my best days where I fight distraction and actively listen. Surprise, Surprise, other people appreciate the being heard as much as I do! 

It’s a trick—or a belief we may recognize if you've seen Inside Out 2—that helps me turn potential avoidance into collaboration and support. In the movie, unhealthy beliefs were presented as if/then statements: If I sound smart, my team will value me.

 But those aren't always the healthiest for growth. However, I’ll confess I’m not starting from a NeuroTypical ability to just remain quiet. “Talk less, smile more” may be a demeaning statement for women, but for me, it feels like outright torture. So instead, I’ll “take the win” by actively listening to what I can help with, supporting a person or a process as much as building a configuration. It’s progress, even if it’s not perfect. 

Body-Doubling: Supporting Focus and Overcoming Avoidance

One other strategy that’s helped me with the personal version of PDA is body-doubling. Essentially, it’s when I work alongside someone else—either in person or virtually—even if I’m not directly collaborating on the same task. Having someone physically present (or even just sharing a virtual workspace) helps me stay on track and avoid the paralysis that can come from feeling overwhelmed by tasks. It’s like having an accountability partner for focus. This might seem like a small thing, but it makes a big difference in my ability to push through moments of avoidance and stay productive. Whether it’s a colleague or a friend, simply knowing someone else is there can provide enough of a nudge to get things done. I don't want to burden a teammate all day though so you might find me body-doubling on TikTok. Perhaps my love of the stage for stand-up comedy or performance allows me to channel that energy that comes from the potential of even have one single view witness my work that is enough to keep me on taks. Call it weird,  but tiktok does more for me than the watching eyes of my Astro Plushie.  

I hope my tricks can help you. I'd love to hear yours. 

🎃 Happy Spooky Season! 🎃

It has been a busy time! Things have been a little overwhelming for me because fall starting means allergies, school things happening, and more travel for work! This also means my ability to check in on things has notably decreased, BUT: I have some updates for you all!

🍁 FALL VIRTUAL MEETING DATE 🍂

The next meeting is set! Because of what I noted above, I've been so delayed in getting this scheduled! But it's on the calender, our fall meeting will be November 6th at 1:00p CST! This meeting will focus on Resource Sharing, so you're encouraged to come with resources you love to help make your life easier.

RSVP Here: https://trailblazercommunitygroups.com/events/details/salesforce-neurodivergent-trailblazers-presents-neurodivergent-trailblazers-fall-24-meeting/

📣 New Slack Workspace 📣

I don't know about you, but I am *terrible* about remembering to check in on here--groups isn't an app I normally have up! To help with that, I've create us a basic Slack Workspace instead! This way, it's easier to have push notifications when there are announcements, and hopefully easier to interact with one another!

Join Here: https://join.slack.com/t/neurodivergen-qvd2108/shared_invite/zt-2sfl488kw-5qC6tOXdokQn_cqNFyFhnw

What are you up to this spooky month? How have you been doing? Comment below!

🎉 WELCOME TO NEURODIVERGENT TRAILBLAZERS! 🎉

I am so, so excited to finally be starting this group and getting to know everyone. I've been a bit delayed with a giant work project that has just gone live, so now I can five in here!

First, an introduction, and my "why:"

My name is Allie Lawler. I've been in the Salesforce ecosystem since 2016, when I started as an end user on a Customer Service call center team. Currently, I'm a Principal Solutions Engineer for consulting firm Cirrius Solutions. In 2020, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 28 years old, and am self-diagnosed Autistic, as there aren't many resources available for adult ASD diagnoses, and they can be cost-prohibitive. As I've grown in my career, the biggest thing I've been impacted by is a lack of support structures and community for people whose brains are like mine--brains that operate outside of the corporate norm. Thus, Neurodivergent Trailblazers was born! 

With this group, I hope to create a place where you can operate however is most comfortable for your brain, find resources on improving your work life, and feel like you belong! We will host virtual meetups, as well as a few in-person meetings at events like WITness Success. 

So now: tell us about you 📣 and introduce yourself!

• Who are you, and what do you do in our ecosystem?
• What do you hope to get out of being a part of Neurodivergent Trailblazers?
• ✨ Tell us a weird cool thing about you!

And finally, our first group meeting will be virtual on June 13, 2024! RSVP Here 🙋🏼‍♀️