I can't get the duplicate management to recognize that the same phone number but input in a different format are the same phone numbers. Some data providers send leads to salesforce in format (555) 444-3333 others send it as 5554443333. Salesforce doesn't recognize these are the same phone numbes. Also if one phone number is in the Home number and it's in a another record as the work number it can't seem to find it as a duplicate. The 2nd issue makes more sense but the first one seems like CRM 101 for it to pickup they are the same numbers. Salesforce even formats the 5554443333 as (555) 444-3333 so it's hard for reps to even realize it's happened.
Sorry for mixing up.
https://help.salesforce.com/articleView?id=sf.matching_rule_matching_examples.htm&type=5
this link was in addition to this part of my answer:
"it does not allow cross-field checking, so Record1.Phone = 5554443333 and Record2.WorkPhone = 5554443333 won't be considered as duplicates."
Regarding Apex, deduplication is quite a difficult task, and it depends on each particular case, i.e: you can create your own matching keys, each Lead will have a new field with matching key Phone + WorkPhone, then you can create trigger/apex job that will compare records by these keys, but this approach may affect performance.
I suggest voting for this idea, it can resolve your case:
https://trailblazer.salesforce.com/ideaView?id=08730000000cHBJAA2
